


Lost at Sea

by definitely_a_textbook



Series: Endless Days [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, I love my boy, M/M, Shido's palace, but he's sad in this one too, can probably be read by itself but could possibly be confusing, i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitely_a_textbook/pseuds/definitely_a_textbook
Summary: *Missing scene from chapter 31 of Endless Days Spent Running Wild*The salty wind whipping past his cheeks stung his eyes and irritated his throat. Running against the wind would slow him down, but he refused to let himself pretend that his failings had anything to do with anyone or anything other than himself.Ryuji runs to save his friends. He had no intention of sacrificing himself. Death had never been an option. His teammates, strangely, aren't all that happy with him anyway.





	Lost at Sea

**Author's Note:**

> A fix it of sorts.
> 
> Missing scene from chapter [chapter 31](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12126420/chapters/33039399)

The salty wind whipping past his cheeks stung his eyes and irritated his throat. Running against the wind would slow him down, but he refused to let himself pretend that his failings had anything to do with anyone or anything other than himself. He panicked when his leg gave out and his knee felt numb. Ryuji slammed his fist into the flesh above the joint. The feeling didn’t return, but the jolt of it got him back up on his feet. He couldn’t stop now, not when everyone was counting on him.

He launched himself up, grasping for the handle of the mechanism that would release the last lifeboat to them. His fingers almost missed. He almost plummeted down to the tilting deck below; the threat of a broken bone at a high probability. Instead, his hand clasp around the highest rung of the latter. It didn’t take much of a tug upward to grab the lever and use his weight to pull it down.

The boat lowered for them and over his pounding heartbeat and the crashing waves, Ryuji could hear his friends’ cheers.

He watched them run for the lifeboat and climb inside. They were far away, but over the rumbling, he could hear Akira call out to him. “Hang on!” he shouted. Yusuke started the boat’s motor. “We’re coming to get you!”

Ryuji had no intentions of letting go. As water swallowed the cruise ship below him, he no longer feared a harsh landing on the deck of the ship, but he remembered their physics teacher mentioning something about water hurting just as much as concrete at a certain height and while Ryuji was sure he’d been on taller diving boards at the public pool, he didn’t want to risk anything when his only chance of rescue was still out of reach.

It seemed the universe hadn’t been a fan of his deduction, because just as he was adjusting his grip to get a better hold, something, an important part of what must have once been the engine room, erupted in a fiery explosion behind him. The searing pain that ran up his spine startled him and the smoke that enveloped the rest of his body made him panic. He let go without thinking.

The impact stung, but the water cooled the burn on his back.

He tried to swim to the surface, but he was sinking and he couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t breathe.

The surface was slipping farther away and wouldn’t be able to each it in time.

His chest burned.

His limbs flailed.

He squeezed his eyes shut to fight off the sting of the sea water. He…

He could breathe.

Ryuji clenched his fists and pulled up wet, dying grass from the ground beneath him. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and saw the moon hidden behind wispy clouds.

-

Ann’s scream went unanswered. Ryuji was gone and Akira couldn’t move. He barely allowed himself to correct his footing after their lifeboat hit a choppy wave. Makoto grabbed the back of his jacket and kept him from letting himself tip overboard.

They must have hit the barrier because they couldn’t reach where Ryuji had disappeared. Instead, they were forcefully booted from the world Shido had drowned in his unwillingness to care. They returned to the sidewalk across the street from the Diet Building and they couldn’t go back. Ryuji was nowhere in sight.

“Ryuji!” Ann screamed again, as if screaming for him would make him appear.

Akira’s throat felt tight. His eyes burned with tears he hadn’t noticed were dripping down his cheeks.

Ann began to cry and, from there, the urge to fall apart spread to the rest of the team. It didn’t make sense. Ryuji had just been there. He’d seen him. He’d spoken to him. He’d smiled at him, but that was just how it always was, wasn’t it? People were there and then they weren’t. Akira felt like his knees were going to give out any second. He needed to sit down. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think. What was the point of doing anything if Ryuji wasn’t there?

“Hey,” Ryuji’s voice startled him out of whatever downward spiral he’d fallen into.

Akira blinked hard, mind left grasping for something to make the world make sense again. He met Ryuji’s brown eyes with his own and he found it. “Ryuji,” Akira choked out, a smile breaking through the tears.

Ryuji turned to Ann’s drooping figure, confusion in eyes but a smile on his face. He bent over to get a better look at her face and laughed. “What happened to you? Crying makes your face all puffy. It’s not a good look.”

Akira hiccupped, barely a laugh and mostly a sob. Ryuji’s poor excuse of a joke hadn’t been all that funny, but Ryuji was back, he was whole, he was alive, and Akira would laugh at every marginally funny thing Ryuji said for the rest of eternity if it kept him by his side.

Akira took a step forward, but Ann beat him to it. She righted her posture, fury in her eyes and a snarl on her lips. She shoved him, shouting, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ryuji sputtered for an answer but didn’t find one before Ann raised an open palm and slapped him across the face. Akira hadn’t thought she’d struck him all that hard, but the red mark it left on Ryuji’s cheek told a different story. Akira couldn’t remember if the cut on his bottom lip had been there when he walked over.

Before Akira could do anything to sooth the situation, the girls raised their voices, crowded defensively together, and Akira felt dizzy. Too much was happening all at once and he couldn’t think of what to do. He glanced in Yusuke’s direction. He had moved out of Futaba’s way after she had forced herself out of his embrace to go to Ryuji. Yusuke watched on silently while the girls – Akira turned back just in time to see Ryuji pushed back into a street lamp and wince, his head producing an audible thunk against the metal.

“Hey!” Akira barked, his voice easily slipping into the authoritative growl he used when someone on the team decided listening to him wasn’t worth their time. The girls stepped back but continued to glare in Ryuji’s direction as if Akira had been addressing him instead.

“You’re not funny, Ryuji!” Ann whined, smearing her makeup under her eye. “That was terrible of you to do!”

“What’d I do?” Ryuji growled.

Akira’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

-

Ryuji rubbed the back of his head. He frowned at Akira and took a hesitant step back as he came forward. His back touched the pole he had just fallen against. It hurt. “Dude, I get,” he said, holding up his hands in surrender. “You’re mad too. Just…” his voice grew quieter as he spoke and he hated himself for it, “don’t...”

Ryuji had seen Akira’s arms, been wrapped in them and squeezed close, and he’d seen how much he’d managed to lift. Akira would hit harder than the girls.

Akira froze for less than a second before rushing forward. Ryuji flinched, attempting not to cover his face in case it’d be better to just let Akira get a good swing in, but no fist connected with his face. Instead, Akira’s strong arms enveloped him and pulled him close. He buried his nose into Ryuji’s shoulder, his glasses askew and biting into Ryuji’s neck.

Ryuji tried and failed to remove his arms from their place squashed between the two of them to return Akira’s embrace. He listened in as the girls talked about grabbing dinner for a job well done and playfully deciding if they should have Ryuji pay to counteract the pain he’d put them through because of his little prank. Yusuke seemed to agree, but Ryuji didn’t understand what they were talking about.

“Akira,” Haru placed a delicate hand on Akira’s shoulder. He didn’t look up. “Akira, it’s okay. Ryuji didn’t know how much it would hurt us, but that just means he’s here now. Nothing bad happened.”

Akira didn’t move.

“…Let’s go celebrate.”

Akira shook his head and finally relinquished his hold on Ryuji. Ryuji watched Akira, hoping to find an answer to what he’d come back to. Akira pushed Haru’s hand away. “I want to go home. Ryuji, you’re coming with me.”

“Aw,” Futaba whined, “Does that mean I have to go too?”

Akira didn’t answer. He just grabbed Ryuji hand and tugged him in the direction of the train station.

On the ride back to Leblanc, Akira held his hand as the train jostled them. Futaba gripped Akira’s jacket, her larges eyes flickering around the crowded car. Normally, Akira was eager to act as Futaba’s ‘key item’ when they needed her to remain calm in crowds. Now, Akira seemed to be ignoring her.

“Ryuji, I really… I wanted to say that I…” Akira muttered, before hiding his face in Ryuji’s neck and refusing to say another word.

Sitting hurt, standing hurt. When he was left alone, Ryuji could still feel the waves tugging at his limbs. He claimed the bathroom at Leblanc and checked the damage after Sojiro had caught sight of the burn creeping up the back of his neck and managed to get what he’d gone through out of him. Ryuji remembered Morgana explaining that any injury taken back to the real world could still be healed completely at a later date as long as it had been inflicted in the Metaverse. It looked bad and it felt worse. He forced himself to tell Akira how bad it actually was when they were alone and Akira dragged him back into the Mementos before Ryuji could try to say he was willing to wait until morning.

His mom welcomed him home late into the night and well past what would have been an appropriate time for dinner. He still sat down with her and ate leftovers. Her ‘no phone at the dinner table’ policy kept him from answering his phone as what he assumed to be the group chat caused his phone to buzz in his back pocket throughout most of dinner. He pushed his food around his plate, the rice they'd cooked a few nights ago stuck to the roof of his mouth. It was hard to swallow.

Ryuji knew he wasn't actually alone; his mom was right across of him, but he still felt lonely. His mom wouldn't understand and it was his fault. He couldn't tell her he was a Phantom Thief. He couldn't tell her what he was doing with his friends on the days he came home later than her. He couldn't tell her why his bottom lip was split or why he kept scratching at his back when nothing was there. He couldn't tell her that he'd nearly drowned and that it felt like he was still sinking. He couldn't tell her anything, but he used to be able to tell her everything.

Ryuji wondered if she noticed.

Before bed, Ryuji made himself check his phone. He expected an annoying conversation about their celebration dinner and whether or not everyone felt confident they'd managed Shido's change of heart in time. Instead, he read the longest text he'd ever seen Akira send.

**Akira: I didn’t say this when we were there but seriously why did you guys do that? that was uncalled for and really fucked up**

**Akira: Im actually really mad and were going to talk about this**

**Ann: O.O you never talk this much**

**Akira: Im not laughing**

**Makoto: While I agree it was probably very inappropriate of us to react how we did, it was also awful of Ryuji to hide from us**

**Ann: sorry Akira**

**Futaba: ryuji wasn’t playing a joke :(**

**Futaba: he woke up on the grass down the street**

**Futaba: he wasnt hiding. we messed up**

**Haru: Oh no!**

**Yusuke: Ryuji, my apologies, I simply watched.**

**Makoto: I’m sorry too, Ryuji. That was terrible of us. I’m so sorry.**

**Makoto: Are you there?**

**Haru: I’m so so so so so sorry Ryuji**

**Haru: We love you so much. We were so worried!**

**Akira: Ryuji?**

Ryuji noticed a few unopened messages from Ann. He opened the chat.

**Ann: Ryuji!**

**Ann: Oh my god I’m so sorry!**

**Ann: Answer please?**

**Ann: I’m so sorry I hit you! I thought you did it on purpose just to scare us!**

**Ann: It’s not your fault**

**Ann: Ryuji?**

Ryuji smiled down at his phone. He suddenly didn’t feel so awful. He texted her back.

**Its okay. Im okay now. You guys didnt know**

**Ann: I should have known you wouldn’t do something like that! I’m so sorry!**

He opened his chat with Akira and sent him a text too.

**You didn’t need to text them**

Akira responded almost immediately.

**Akira: Yes I did**

His mom knocked on his door and wished him a good night. Ryuji called back to her and turned off the light on his bedside table. He laid down and returned to the group chat. Ryuji swore to them that he didn’t mind. He tried to stop their apologies, ignoring the selfish part of him wanted the attention. Part of him was still bitter it had happened in the first place. He’d saved their lives and the moment he’d come back, they had seemingly turned on him for no reason. It hurt, but watching his phone flood with apologies, kind messages, and promises to never do anything like that again made the ache in his chest less noticeable.

He fell asleep with his phone in his hand, content with knowing tomorrow would be better.

They’d won, after all.


End file.
